Friday, 31 March 2017

The Convoluted Dream - November 12th, 2016

The dream starts off with Mike and I walking through Woodbridge, doing some Christmas shopping. I've got my drawing of Rosemary in the bag ready to give to him when we get in the car and I'm really excited to see his reaction. Instead of walking back to the car, however, we wander over to this coach station and towards a National Express coach. It doesn't say where it's going, but he tells me we're getting on it, so we do.

I sit about four seats back from the front and nod off as the coach starts driving (I always tend to nap when I travel by coach). When I wake up, I casually look over to my right to look at the other passengers. Rosemary is sitting there. My heart literally stops and she smiles at me. Then, from behind her, my granddad and my mum appear from their respective seats and tell me Rosemary never died, it was all faked so that we could all go away together. I get up and shout at the coach driver to pull over. I run off the coach and start hyperventilating and screaming because, for a split second, I think this is real and my family have actually done this to me.

I wake up. I'm in another dream but I'm not aware of that yet. I'm at university talking to my department, explaining that I want to do something more than just writing. They suggest I become an intern for a company that deals with the re-homing of children, pet life plans and sales of beanie babies. I remember questioning this, asking if it was a real thing. My teacher (Adrian) simply said "do you want the job or not?" I stopped arguing.

My first day I was paired up with a child (one I was trying to re-home) and I was to shadow another colleague (who also had a child with him). His child was to be sent into the countryside, so we drove out into the middle of the sticks, and started venturing through a couple of miles of wilderness until we came to a big, open plain. It was muddy and the sky was grey, so this could've literally been anywhere in England.

We start walking up this hill and I ask the kid what his name is and how old he is. His name is Henry and he's 8-years old. He has scruffy brown hair, a couple of missing teeth and a missing eye (which he self-consciously covers with his fringe). I tell him he's fine the way he is and smile. I start to realise this kid is growing on me. I wish to myself that I could adopt him. I can't, though: company rules.

I catch up to Derek (the guy we're shadowing) and he's stopped at the top of the hill, crouching down and staring through some binoculars. I ask his kid what's going on. Apparently the mud is so thick that Derek suspects it's mixed with sewage as well, which means there must be an exposed pipeline around there somewhere. I inhale and nod. Smells like sewage. It reminded me of Blackpool's seafront.

We slowly amble down the hill to investigate: the mud is thick and, like in real life, I'm clumsy as fuck and my feet keep sliding in opposite directions. Little Henry holds my hand all the way down. When we get to the bottom, there's even more mud. I gently lift Henry onto my shoulders and carry him as we follow Derek. We pass some shrubberies and notice a low, brick wall and a barn. The smell seems to emanating from there, so Derek goes to investigate; at this point in the dream, my perspective was primarily third person, but now I'm seeing through Derek's eyes. He/I see two or three farmers gathered around a wheelbarrow. One has a note board and is writing stuff down. One has an open manhole cover and he's pouring what looks to be raw sewage into it. The last one has blood all over his apron and arms and he's complaining about how long it will take the haul everything into the yard and stick it down the hole. Derek/I move our foot backwards to leave and it scrapes loudly across one of the bricks. They all look up. Then we ran.

Perspective shifted back to third person and now Derek, the children and myself are all running (stumbling, more like) up this hill to get away. The three farmers are hot in pursuit, swearing and yelling to stop. I hold Henry's hand firmly and we start running down the other side of the hill where it's less muddy. I realise he's running too far to the left and that we were splitting up as we started to reach the woods. I call out to tell him "you know where to go, I'll be there, I promise!"

Henry runs through the woods and magically, on the other side, there's an office building. He runs into the front doors and into a hallway where I'm crouching on the floor. He runs into my arms and cries and tells me he loves me and that he doesn't want the bad men to get him. I promise him that they won't. Derek and the kid walk over and tell me I did a good job keeping Henry safe, until a balding business man walks over with his colleagues and tells me to go to the board room for a meeting with the other saleswomen I work with. I kiss Henry on the forehead and tell him to go with Derek.

In the board meeting, there's the head of our department (who is actor Tobin Bell) and the CEO's rich, dumb son, Vincent. Vincent has jet black hair in a quaff, he wears a navy, pinstriped suit, he has ridiculously bright, white teeth and charming grey eyes. He reminds me of a young, skinnier Val Kilmer. I can already tell, though, that all of us hate him. He looks like a pretty boy but, as the meeting starts, it becomes evident that he's an arrogant clod.

He tells us we're expecting cutbacks of at least 60%, we're closing down the re-homing department and that the company are going to let a few of the girls go. I look over at Tobin and he's fuming: he's clearly not agreeing with the decisions the company has made. Vincent nods to the wall behind me, which I notice is actually a window-wall, leading to the outside. It's dark out, and I realise it's square 3 of my university, and our building is where the breakfast bar would normally be. Leaning against the glass with her tits practically out is Angela, his ditzy blonde girlfriend with big, fake, pink lips and tiny ankles.

Vincent laughs and tells us the meeting is dismissed, but not before firing me, and two other girls. In protest, I ask if I can at least adopt Henry: I'd rather be a stay at home mum and work on my writing career with him. Vincent, halfway through the door, scoffs at me and tells me it's against company policy. I try and argue that since I no longer work at the company, I should legally be able to, but he threatens to spread rumours to sister corporations about me so that I'm unhirable. He says "let's leave it at that, carrot top" and leaves with Angela.

I sit down at the table, flummoxed and pissed off. One of the girls who was fired (Julia) suggests we riot. Another girl (Clare) says we should set Vincent's car on fire. Then Tobin steps forward. He tells us that Vincent only ever brings Angela around to our office because his father doesn't approve of her. So, incidentally, the CEO doesn't know some floozy keeps coming around in our department, having sex in the building, allegedly stealing equipment and generally messing around. Tobin smirks and tells us he'll be right back. He leaves and I look at the other girls. They all look back at me. We know he'll be fired if he tells the CEO because the guy doesn't like to be shown up, especially by one of his employees.

Suddenly, there's an explosion outside. There are fireworks going off and students are running around with flares, paint bombs, glitter, the works. As the mayhem ensues, Tobin comes back, cackling and coughing at himself. He tells us he did it, and not only did he not get fired, but we all get 4 weeks paid holiday. The girls celebrate, talking about making plans for Hawaii, and before I can enquire about Henry, there's a tap on the window: Lili and Pea (an old friend) are standing outside, beckoning me to come join the celebrations. I sigh and agree to go party.

When I walk out, I realise Lorna (a friend) is also with Lili and Pea. I introduce myself (which is odd, considering we hadn't even met in real life yet) and head over to a house party that Pea claims is in one of the south towers. We walk up a short hill and my feet slip: I suddenly feel a bit sad about Henry but I shake it off and continue. The entrance to Eddington tower is closed for some reason but Pea tells us there's a backdoor way. She leads us round to the side and lo and behold, there's what looks to be a pink hallway with baby blue curtains and plastic covering. We walk in and it's a (very small) girl's bathroom. Pea says we should get ready, so three of us go into the cubicles and Lili stands by the doorway, fixing her hair in the mirror. I also realise as I'm stepping in the middle cubicle, that there's a random bunk bed in there.

When I look down, I'm already redressed, and I realise I just need to do my makeup. I step out of the cubicle to put on eyeliner: Pea is already redressed from what was a pink school girl uniform in fluffy platforms to this red off-the-shoulder top and black pencil skirt. She was putting on a gold chain and I noticed Lili next to her who was wearing a cute, metallic dress with no sleeves and some glitter on her face: I realise at that point that this is what she looked like for Dan's birthday. Lorna is in the corner, complaining about whether to go to the party with dark brown or blonde hair. I tell her that I've always imagined her blonde but that she should go as brunette. She nods and starts dying it in the sink.

Pea sits atop the bunk bed, swinging her legs and humming to a song I recognise but can't quite remember. She asks me how my morning was and I explain the crazy Rosemary dream from the beginning. "That's fucked up, man" she says, as she looks for a plug socket to charge her phone in. I agree and look to Lili for her to agree but she just stares at us.
"You realise this is a dream, right? We're dreaming right now. You already know she's dead. And I'm not dressed like this. And Pea, that colour doesn't suit you."
I stare at her, gobsmacked. She doesn't seem angry or confrontational, just unfiltered. Pea starts arguing with her but I stay quiet, because deep down I know she's right, and that we really aren't all here in this bathroom.

After Lorna dries her hair, we head back out into Eddington hallway and get in the lift to go to floor 10. Pea mentions the YouTuber Tomska will be there and I get excited (I've always wanted to meet him). The dream starts fuzzing out like static. I ask what's going on. None of them seem to hear me anymore. I feel a hand in my hand and look down to see Henry crying. He tells me he doesn't want me to go but that I need to.

I panic and hold onto him, asking what to do. He calls me "mummy" and I wake up.

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